Over the Years
by 5UP3RN47UR4L
Summary: This is a series about Sam and Dean's relationship over the years. As kids and adults, apart and together. Mind the warnings of the chapters if you're not into wincest! R&R 3
1. Part 1

_**1996, Sioux Falls, South Dakota (Sam's 13, Dean's 17)**_

"_How do you know you like girls?"_

_Dean almost choked on his lemon juice when Sam flopped next to him on Dean's bed. Dean had been reading his favorite comic book after helping Uncle Bobby up with the Impala. His clothes were still covered with greasy stains when he had poured himself a glass of icy juice and gotten comfortable on the bed. _

"_Um, what?" Dean coughed when Sam stared at him intensively. Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. _

"_How do you know you like girls?" _

"_Well I guess – You just do, you know, it's just how things go. Boys like girls and girls like boys", Dean tried to be clear and quick. "You'll figure it out when the time comes." _

"_I'm not asking how things are supposed to go, I'm asking how do you know your – things – are going the way they are supposed to." _

"_You're not making any sense, Sam", he said and tried to go back to his comic. But Sam was sending some serious vibes of hurt and dissatisfaction toward him. The kid had a talent of screaming without saying a god damn word. The silently brooding bastard. _

_Dean sighed and put away the comic book and turned to look at Sam's miserable face. "Why don't you start over?" _

_Suddenly Sam looked uncomfortable under Dean's full attention. He squirmed and started to play with Dean's blanket following its pattern with his fingers. "I just…I mean…I know the stuff about flowers and bees but…" Now Sam was blushing and wasn't that the most adorable thing Dean had ever seen. Not that he would ever admit it. "How do you know you will like it? What if you don't and the girl will feel hurt and she tells everyone you suck and…"_

"_Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses cowboy!" Dean raised his eyebrows. "First of all you will like it and secondly how am I getting a feeling you have a massive crush on some poor girl." _

_Sam didn't say anything but his blush got even deeper, if was even possible. Dean took a pity on his brother and tapped the mattress closer to him. _

"_Come here." Sam wiggled himself closer to Dean. Their knees were almost touching when they were sitting there facing each other. Sam could smell the lingering scents of sweat, dirt and motor oil coming from Dean. Yet it was probably the best aroma Sam knew. It was like summer, home and Dean. _

"_So you have this girl you want to make out with but you're afraid you won't like it and you will end up spilling the soda on her lap and being the sorest loser, am I right?" _

_Sam narrowed his eyes. "Well when you put it like that I guess I was worried over nothing." He had known Dean wouldn't take him seriously and started to leave the bed when Dean grabbed his arm. _

"_Okay no reason to get your panties in a twist Samantha." When Sam still didn't sit back down Dean softened his voice. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made fun of you, now sit your ass down." _

_They took their places again and Dean's face grew serious. "So you have a problem. What do you want to do about it?" _

"_Well I was thinking maybe I should see how I feel about the…other thing…" _

_Dean looked confused. "What other thing?"_

"_Well I kind of have two options here; boys or girls. So…" Then Sam looked at Dean into eyes full of determination. "I'd rather look like a fool with you so I don't look like one with someone else! I want to see how it feels to kiss a guy to, ya know, make sure..." _

_Suddenly Dean got a feeling he shouldn't have ditched the comic book after all. He couldn't do this. Hell he shouldn't do this but one look at Sam's face and he was already leaning forward to cup his brother's face. _

_When his lips touched Sam's soft mouth everything else disappeared around him. He didn't hear Bobby's radio down in the kitchen or the Impala's soft purr from the yard when Bobby had finally gotten her running. The only thing he was aware of was Sam's lips giving away under his touch and his own slightly trembling hands when he folded his fingers through Sam's longish hair. _

_Then there was a loud crashing sound when the dropped to the floor from the bed spilling orange juice everywhere. Dean flinched away from Sam and opened his eyes (when had he closed them?)._

_Sam was a little out of breath and his face was flushed. __"Whoa. That was…Whoa." _

_That was exactly how Dean felt but he would be damned if he said that out loud. _

"_So?" Dean managed instead. _

"_Well that was…" What? Different? He had really nothing to compare with. Interesting? No, then Dean would figure out Sam had actually liked it. Even Sam knew that wasn't the way he was supposed to feel. _

"_Yeah definitely not my thing but thanks anyway." _

_And with that Sam was out of the room leaving Dean with a feeling that this hadn't probably gone the way it was supposed to because now he was the one feeling confused. And developing a hard on._

**TBC…**


	2. Part 2

**Warnings: **Sam with male character, non-con/rape

**2006, San Francisco, California (Sam's 23, Dean's 27)**

Sam was just chancing his outfit from hanging-around hoodie to look-at-me-and-my-damn-sexy-ass underwear when he heard a soft knock at the front door. He frowned because his five o'clock (he liked to call them as the appointment times) was a pretty pedantic man and he had never showed up too early or too late.

"Just a sec!" he yelled and went to the door wearing nothing but the tiny strings. He hoped he would have chosen differently when he saw who was behind the door. It wasn't his five o'clock.

"Dean."

Sam was shocked. Dean looked like he had been about to say something but froze when he saw Sam's outfit. Or the lack of it. Sam didn't give him even a chance to start talking but slammed the door shut. That was not his five o'clock. What the hell was Dean doing here and how he had found him? After all these years!

A shiver went through Sam as he dressed with a loose bath robe and opened the door again. Dean looked still pretty puzzled but has apparently recovered enough to speak.

"Hi, Sam."

"Dean, what are you –", but Sam was cut off by a polite cough. His five o'clock stood behind Dean in his neat business suit as always on Thursdays. Dean turned around so fast Sam thought he heard his neck cracking.

"If I'm interrupting something I apologize but I think I have a scheduled appointment with Mr. Moore here." The man's voice remained polite and fairly light but underneath it the irritation and impatience were clear.

"Yeah sorry Jack, go ahead and get yourself ready, I will be with you in a sec." Sam let the man walk past him into the apartment. Dean looked like a living question mark until his eyes narrowed and lips pressed together.

"Sam, no."

Sam wished the ground would have swallowed him but of course no such luck. He settled to just look at Dean with the pathetic pleading expression he mastered so well.

"I…I've got to…You could…"

Dean just shook his head and turned away leaving Sam hanging there. He had barely disappeared when Sam felt strong possessive hands coming around his hips and dry warm lips pressed on his bare shoulder. Sam closed the door and tried to turn to face the man but was pinned against the wall instead. The lips wandered on his neck and shoulders biting down once in a while almost painfully.

"Jack." Sam hummed and pushed back to the man.

Jack's left hand glided down Sam's torso to his dick. Sam was half hard instantly. Even though he tried to concentrate on the friction created by the firm touch he couldn't shake off Dean's hurt face dancing in his mind. Jack seemed to sense Sam wasn't entirely with him and stopped short.

"You know I don't mind you having other men because I am one of those other men", his voice was low and dangerous. Suddenly Sam felt how his underwear were being yanked away and the head of Jack's member pushed against his hole and he thanked God he had prepared and slicked himself beforehand for this.

"But…" a quick thrust and he was balls deep in Sam who screwed his eyes shut and bite his lip when the sudden feeling of I'm-being-spilt-in-half went through him. "…I do mind…" an intense and forceful push deeper. "…you thinking about your other men…" Jack slammed back into him while his hands gripped Sam's narrow hips with a bruising force to keep him on his place against the wall. "…on my time!" Couple more thrusts and Sam was coming hard.

After Jack was finished with him Sam was a sweating mess on his bed. He felt sore and tired but satisfied in some sick and twisted way. Jack had cleaned himself up and before walking out the door he covered Sam with a blanket, dropped few bills on the bed and kissed his forehead. Until next Thursday.

**TBC…**


	3. PArt 3

_**1998, South Bend, Indiana**_** (Sam's 15, Dean's 19) **

_Eric was his first gay crush. Sam fell in love with his black spiky hair, dark brown eyes and his wild nature. It was the way he looked at Sam when their hands brushed accidently. It was his I-don't-give-a-crap attitude. _

_Dad didn't know he was into guys so he knew it was pretty risky to bring Eric to their current house after school one day. Dean knew about his gayness but they didn't exactly talk about it. Dad was supposed to be at the library late that night trying to figure out what was killing people at the near forest and Dean was working a night shift at the local burger joint. _

_So when Eric was kissing him with a tongue on their living room couch Sam wasn't prepared when he suddenly felt Eric being yanked away from his touch and John's icy voice asking what the hell was going on. _

_Eric's remark "I think you can see it for yourself" cost him a bloody nose. _

"_If you don't want couple of missing teeth with that", John waved at the general direction of Eric's bleeding nose. "I suggest you get the hell out of here and never come back." _

_Sam was absolutely paralyzed in front of his Dad's growling voice and intimidating form. He had never seen him hitting _humans_. He had never hit Dean or him but now Sam wasn't so sure about it anymore. Eric didn't even look at Sam while he picked up his stuff and fled out of the door. _

"_Explain." John whispered through his clenched teeth. His eyes were cold and Sam tried to shrink as small as possible under his sight. _

"_I thought…You weren't…I'm sor – ", a sharp slap cut him off. The hand shaped red mark burnt Sam's right cheek. Dad had just slapped him! And of course that was the moment Dean decided to burst through the door happy to get home earlier than planned. _

"_I'm home and I – ", he looked around the room. Sam was holding his face and looked like he could start crying any minute and Dad looked like he could explode. "What's going on?"_

"_Did you know about this?" _

"_About what?" _

"_About Sam being…being…" John took a deep breath. "being a faggot." _

_The boys looked at each other. Dean knew and Sam knew Dean knew. And Dean knew Sam knew he knew. And it was all confusing and wrong. It wasn't supposed to – _

"_No", Dean said quiet. He didn't look at Sam anymore and didn't see a lonely tear rolling down his cheek. _

_John didn't look convinced but the fact of whether Dean knew or not didn't really matter now. He turned to look at Sam again. _

"_You", he spat. "You better chose between your family or…or that. If that's what you are doing…You are no son of mine…" _

"_Then I guess I'm not your son anymore." _

_That froze both John and Dean. Dean looked at Sam silently pleading with his eyes Sam to just drop it and admit he was wrong._

"_Sammy…" he reached out but Sam slapped his hand away from him. _

_Sam turned to look at Dean. "I guess I don't have a brother anymore either." _

_He could practically hear Dean's heart breaking into pieces but he couldn't really sympathize when his own heart and life had been shred down too. He wasn't angry at Dean, just…disappointed. Dean had been his everything and now…He had never felt this alone in his life._

**TBC…**


	4. Part 4

**Warnings: **Sam with male character, non-con/rape, underage

_**1999, St. Paul, Minnesota (Sam's 16) **_

_Sam was cold, hungry and underage. Mostly just hungry and cold. It had been few months now since Sam had walked out on his family. On Dean. He could almost hear Dean saying 'grow some balls and get your ass back home, back with me' next to him. _

_But he couldn't go back, not even because of Dean. Dean would never leave Dad because of him and Sam understood him in a way. The man was practically his idol and hero. _

_He didn't hate Dad anymore. He had but then had come to a conclusion that it was pointless. John was his Dad whether Sam was a gay or not and it was Dad's problem if he couldn't deal with it. _

_Suddenly a hard wind blew Sam's loose jacket and he almost slipped over the icy ground. Sam had barely coped the last couple of months doing shitty jobs and was getting pretty sick of the weather of Minnesota. He wanted some place warm, California maybe. _

_He had been hanging around Billy's lately. It was a rundown truck stop with toilets, couple of rent rooms and really greasy burgers. Sam had managed to snag out couple of them sometimes but Jim, the owner, had gone suspicious and started to keep a close eye on him. _

_Other ones keeping an eye on him were the truckers and Sam knew what they wanted. First he had felt disgusted by the lusty looks but now…He could get to the California. Blow jobs have never hurt anyone, have they? Just couple of them and he could hit the road. _

"_What ya thinkin' boy?" _

_Sam felt a heavy hand landing on his shoulder and spun around fast. The man standing behind him was in his 50's and had a developing beer belly. He was wearing a dirty Red Sox cap and his voice was rough and low, burned with too many cigarettes and whiskey shots. _

_Sam shook the hand off of his shoulder with an annoying huff but the man didn't seem to mind. _

"_Gary", the man introduced himself and Sam couldn't help but snort at that. Go figure. "Can I buy ya a drink, son?" _

_Sam took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. This was his chance to get out. Thinking about how good the Californian sun would feel on his skin he turned back to the man with the most adorable smile on his face and the sluttiest look in his eyes. He could do this. _

"_Sorry Gary, I'm not old enough to drink but I'm old enough to give a damn good blow job if you want." _

_Gary seemed a bit taken aback by Sam's honesty and looked around to make sure no one listened to their conversation. He rubbed his stubble but his eyes were already glistening with pure lust. Sam shivered but made himself to look the man and parted his lips a bit. _

_Gary didn't bother to rent a room for them but pointed Sam to follow him to his truck. No place like home they say. Suddenly Sam missed Dean beside him terribly. He would kick his ass ten ways from Sundays if he knew what his little brother was doing. _

"_I didn't catch your name, boy", Gary grunted while they walked to his truck. _

"_Sam." _

_Gary didn't ask more questions but turned around and grabbed Sam's shoulders and threw him against the semi's cold and hard metal door. The man glued himself to Sam and he could smell the thick scent of aftershave and sweat. _

_His hot breath and few days' stubble tickled Sam's neck when the man whispered his ear: "Ya smell nice, Sammy. Smell like a good blow job to me, boy." A tongue sneaked to lick his earlobe. Sam felt like throwing up. _

"_On your knees." _

_Sam kneeled down onto the white and cold ground. He felt snow melting under his knees and wetting his jeans. The zipper of the man's jeans jammed couple of times when Sam tried to open it with is cold fingers. The guy's dick was already half hard in the middle of a big bush of dark pubic hair. _

_I can do this. _

"_Hurry up, it's freaking freezing here." _

_Sam had never had a male member in his mouth before and was kind of clueless what do. Luckily he had known where Dean kept his stash of porn so he had gotten the general idea. The deeper you can take the cock the better job you are doing. _

_Gary's crotch smelled strong when Sam neared his mouth to his dick. The tip of the member was soft and warm in his mouth and Sam started to think this wasn't so bad. He swirled his tongue around the head and sucked slightly. Gary grunted and gripped Sam's hair with his one hand and with the other one he took a hold of the semi's door to balance. _

"_Take it deeper. Mm, just like that. Now ya got it…" _

_He pushed himself almost balls deep into Sam's mouth with a quick move and Sam nearly choked. The head of the dick didn't feel so soft anymore when it hit his gag reflex over and over again. Sam felt drool dripping on his jaw and his lips started to ache when he tried to hold Gary back a bit. The man held his head with both hands now and Sam's throat made odd gulping sounds as he tried breath and swallow the guy's dick at the same time. _

_Suddenly Gary froze and pushed Sam's head down toward his crotch and Sam's mouth filled with salty liquid which flowed down to his throat. _

"_That's it, that's it. Swallow it", the man said almost comfortingly. _

_Finally Sam got the strength to push the man away. As soon as the dick was out of his mouth he spat the rest of the cum onto the snowy ground. Breathing felt amazing. He felt a bit dizzy but managed to stand up. Gary was zipping up his pants. He was a little out of breath too. _

"_That was pretty fast but you were right you are old enough to give a proper blow job, Sammy. Now, how much?" _

_Sam rubbed his aching jaw and glanced at the man. "Five hundred. And it's Sam." Sam calculated quickly in his head. He could make it to California with five hundred bucks. Right? _

"_Well you've got some fire in ya, kiddo, I give ya that." Gary tucked his shirt back. "But 500 is way too much for just giving a head, boy. I'll give ya…" He shuffled his wallet and picked up few bills. "…150, take it or leave it." _

_Sam's jaw dropped. Just 150 dollars? He could barely make it out of Minnesota with that! Had he just taken a penis into his mouth for nothing? _

_Gary probably saw his face and realized that wasn't what Sam had had in mind when he had agreed to this. He laughed gruffly and patted Sam's shoulder manly. Sam felt pathetic when he looked at the man; he was shivering from coldness, hunger and knew he couldn't go on like this for much longer anymore. _

"_Tell ya what, boy, since you seem to get the idea of a B.J. and you have those damn puppy dog eyes why don't ya come with me, huh?" _

"_You kidding right? You really think I'm going to leave with you?" _

_But really Sam was already ready to jump into the guy's truck. He didn't trust Gary but in some twisted way he sort of liked him. Even though he had just blown the guy Gary had some fatherly affection in him. Plus he could provide shelter and food. _

"_Come on, kid, I've seen you around here before and I can tell this was the first trick you've turned", Gary narrowed his eyes as he looked at Sam. "You were lucky to have me as your first, boy, trust me when I say not all the guys are as nice as I am."_

_When Sam still wasn't saying anything Gary went on. _

"_The deal is you give me head once in a while and that's all I want, right? No fucking, 'K? And I'll give ya food and a warm place to sleep. What do ya think?"_

"_What if and when I want out?" _

"_You just say so and I'll drop your ass off wherever we happen to be. Where ya heading by the way?"_

"_To California, or anywhere south." _

_Gary smiled exposing couple of brown teeth. "This is your lucky night, kiddo, hop in and we are out of here." _

_Sam found himself smiling for a long time and climbed into the semi. If only Dean saw him now…_

**TBC…**


	5. Part 5

**2006, Bienville, Louisiana (Sam's 23, Dean's 27) **

Dean had barely looked at him when Sam had finally found the motel he had been staying in San Francisco. Dean hadn't said anything about Sam's line of work but had made it clear he wasn't leaving Sam there. To Sam it hasn't really mattered as long as he could be with Dean. He had just dropped everything and was now sitting in the Impala nest to his brother like it was yesterday.

They were heading to Bienville, Louisiana and had been in the car for four and half hours now. Dean hadn't said a word to him, just looked at the road and grumped something when Sam tried to make a conversation. He understood Dean was mad at him but he was starting feel that coming with him hadn't been such good idea after all.

Later when they were checking a motel room in Bienville Dean didn't talk, just tossed his duffel bag onto the bed nearest to the door and went to take a shower. Sam sighed and sat on his own bed. This was ridiculous. If Dean wanted him with him again they couldn't keep going like this for ever. They would have to talk eventually.

Before turning in Dean laid the salt lines and drew some protection symbols Sam wasn't familiar with. _Click_, the lights were off and they both were on their beds staring at the ceiling.

Sam had apparently fall asleep at some point because he was woken up after midnight by Dean's mumbling and trashing around. He couldn't make out what Dean was saying but his voice sounded panicked and pained. When Sam took a closer look at him he noticed Dean was sweating and his breathing coming fast.

"Dean", he tried to shake his brother. No reaction. "Dean!"

"Come on, man, wake up!"

Dean's eyes opened suddenly and he was breathing harshly. The blanket was twisted around his body. He looked confused and scared.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" Sam's heart leaped for the nickname.

"Um, you. You were having a nightmare if I didn't know better."

Dean went stiff and didn't look at Sam, once again. He coughed few times and got up.

"Well I needed to pee anyhow so good you woke me up."

Sam got off the bed too, turned on his heels and marched to pack his duffel bag.

"You know what, Dean? Forget it; this was a bad idea to begin with."

Sam was getting sick of Dean's games. He didn't talk, look or even seemed to notice Sam was there with him sometimes. He knew Dean felt hurt but they couldn't live together if the other one wouldn't want to even try to make it better, make it alright again between them.

"So what? You're taking off again?" Dean snarled.

He had folded his arms against his chest and looked at Sam, challenging his brother to argue with him. Sam stopped packing and shook his head in disbelief.

"So this is what this is all about, huh? You think it was all my fault? Really Dean?"

"No, but – "

"You know I think you do. I think your opinion is that I was a week coward when I left! Well, let me tell you something; I wasn't the coward who didn't have the gut to stand up to Dad! You could have stand up for _me_, Dean!"

Sam felt how all the years of fear, sorrow, hate and bitterness finally took the toll on him and he just…_snapped_. He grabbed Dean and slammed him against the motel room wall. The unsteady surface gave away a bit under Sam's power. Sam's face was so close to Dean's their noses almost bumped.

"Do you have any idea what I've been through? I'm lucky I'm even breathing air! I've done some stuff you don't want to know about and I'm not proud of the way I've been living but I'm _alive_, Dean. And that should mean something to you, to me."

The energy started to drain out of his body as fast as it had blew in. After all the tension and anger he just felt sad. Sad that his brother didn't love him anymore. He felt like the loneliest person in the world. Dean had been his everything. Sam's eyes welled up and he tried to turn his head away to hide his tears.

Suddenly Dean's hand was on his cheek stopping him. Apparently he had said his thoughts out loud because Dean's low voice was shooting and cracking.

"Shh, Sam. Com' here", Dean opened his arms for Sam to hug his brother tight. Sam felt Dean's heart beating as he pressed his face down to his neck and let the tears wet his t-shirt. The sobs were strong and he was shaking from head to toe.

"Hey, it's okay Sam, it's okay."

Dean stroked Sam's hair and held him close.

"I don't blame you for leaving, Sam. And I'm _so_ sorry for what happened back then, you know that. And I…You never stopped being my little brother, Sammy. _Never_."

Sam calmed down a bit and sniffed occasionally. He was still hugging Dean. Dean's voice was low and familiar next to his ear. He decided he would never let Dean go again, no matter what.

"I missed you, bitch."

Sam smiled tiredly. "I missed you too, jerk."

It wasn't all hugs and puppies after that but things were definitely looking up. They ended up sleeping the rest of the night in the same bed. Sam fell asleep having Dean's arms around him. He felt warm, safe and _home_.

**TBC…**


	6. Part 6

_**1990, Glenwood, Iowa (Sam's 7, Dean's 11)**_

"_Where's Daddy?" Sam's voice was gruff with sleep as he walked into the kitchen. It was Saturday and he had slept in while Dean had woken up earlier to see Dad leaving to a town couple of miles away. Dad had said it was probably just one angry spirit and he would be back in no time, just watch out for Sammy, okay? _

_Dean turned to watch his little brother. Sam was still wearing his pajama and his chocolate brown hair was all over the place. Dean couldn't help but smile at that sight. _

"_Dad got stuff to do, he said he will back soon though. You want breakfast?" _

_Sam frowned. "Again? I thought he would be with us this weekend. He said we would go to the zoo…" _

_Dean closed his eyes. Damn, the zoo. Dad must have forgotten that. Sam had been going on and on about how Dad promised to take them to zoo this weekend but then people had started dying in the next town and he and Dean had been consecrated to the case. _

"_Sorry, Sammy, I guess that's not happening today but we can go to the zoo some other day, huh? Now, eat your cereals." Dean tried not to look at Sam's face. He already knew his brother's lower lip was quivering and those big hazel eyes were welling up. Damn, Dad. _

"_But he _promised_, Dean! Dad said he – " _

"_Well he says lots of things! Shit happens, Sam, deal with it." Dean snapped and regretted it right away. _

_He wasn't angry with Sam, how could he? It wasn't really his fault he was young and believed everything Dad promised. The truth was Dean was disappointed too; he would have loved to go to the zoo and have a nice weekend with Dad and without hunting. _

_Sam had bowed his head low and was eating his bowl of Lucky Charms quietly. His bags of hair hided his face but Dean knew he was probably crying because of the sniffing sound once in a while. Dad owned them, big time. _

"_Gee, Sammy, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to yell at you." _

_Dean lifted Sam's head and wiped away the tear streams. Dean hated seeing Sam like this, if it would have been about a cut on his knee Dean could have dealt with it but these tears were worse. There was no Band-Aid for this wound. _

"_Don't cry, okay?" _

_Dean looked around them to figure out what he could do to make Sam feel better. Then he got an idea. He smiled at Sam. _

"_Zoos are for babies anyway. You know what's way cooler?"_

_Sam sniffed and shook his head. His eyes were still glistening but no tears anymore. Thank God. _

"_We are going to have a day at Brother Park and you know why that's much better that any zoo?" _

_Another sniff and head shake. A confused look. _

"_It's better because –", Dean made stuff up in his mind as he cleaned the table from dishes. "– because no adults are allowed to come in and it's only for brave brothers like you and me. Actually it's such a huge secret - ," Dean riffled through the kitchen drawers to find something. Something special he had hidden there before. "– you have to have a special kind of wristband to get in." Bingo. "Here." _

_Sam looked at the two black leathery bracelets in Dean's hand. They looked bran new and he could smell the leather. What he didn't know was that Dean had bought those couple of weeks ago. He had meant to give them to Dad but…Well, anyway. _

"_What are those for?" Sam asked his eyes curious at Dean when he picked up the other bracelet and strung it around Sam's writs. It was a bit too big and hung too low when Sam put his hand down but it didn't seem to matter. _

"_These are the special wristbands of course, dummy, the Brother Bracelets. You wear one and you can get in the Brother Park", Dean explained. _

"_Well where is the park?" _

"_It's right there where you are with your brother. Like the park is right here with us, right now. And since we have the wristbands we can do whatever we want." _

_Dean smiled and prayed to God Sam wouldn't start asking questions like he always did. Why this and why that? He got a little worried when Sam narrowed his eyes and examined his piece of bracelet closer. Dean was holding his breath. _

_Then the sorrow was wiped off his face like magic and he was all smile and sunshine. "So cool Dean! What do we do first? Could we please go out and swinging, could we please?" And puppy dog eyes, on full force. "And then eat ice cream and play in Dad's room and then…" _

_Dean had a feeling he was going to regret the 'we can do whatever we want' part but it didn't matter as long as Sammy's face looked like that. _

_Couple of years later when neither of them even remembered the Brother Park anymore Dean noticed Sam still wore the black bracelet. Dean had said to Sam he was so chick flick but then Sam had pointed out Dean still had his around his wrist too. Dean had smiled at that and called his brother a bitch. _

**TBC…**


	7. Part 7

**Warnings:** WINCEST

**Sometime later, somewhere in USA **

It just sort of happened. Neither of them planned to kiss each other it just…_happened_. It had been one night after they had gotten drunk. Like seriously drunk.

They had been talking; Dean had told him about the years of hunting with and without Dad. He had told about how they had tracked down the yellow eyed demon, how Dad had died and how Dean had been on and off the road after that. Sam had told him about his life in Minnesota, Gary and how he had ended up in California.

When Dean had heard about Sam selling himself a sorrow had passed his face. He had gone quiet and avoided Sam's eyes. Then Sam had just sort of…put his lips against Dean's. Dean had been shocked at first of course but too drunk to resist him. They had made up a bit and then passed out in the same bed.

And of course there had been the awkward morning when they had woken up both having a massive hangover and even bigger morning woods. Last night's kisses came back to mind and they had danced around each other for couple days until Sam had said they needed talk.

Well, making a long story short: they had both said the other one was the only and most important person in their life. They loved each other. They had so few good things in their lives at the end of the day so why they should live in denial when they could just make the best of it. Of course it hadn't been so cut and dry but they had made it so far.

Sam was walking from a local drug store back to their motel room. He and Dean had agreed that after being few months together this would be their big night. Their first time. There wouldn't be going back after tonight.

Though it was a special night neither of them were exactly a romantic soul so no candle diners and roses and stuff. In fact they had solved who would top first in the traditional rock-paper-scissors way. Though Sam had had an upper hand so to speak since he knew Dean would always, _always_, pick the scissors. So because Dean was going to be the receiving end he had told Sam to get the…supplies. It wasn't like he would do all the work here.

So here Sam was; opening their motel door with packets of condoms and a tube of lube in his pockets. When he opened the door he thought he had accidently stepped into wrong room. But then he noticed the salt lines under the door and Dean entering the room from the bathroom.

"Dean, what the – "

"Well damn if I'm going to be the lady tonight I guessed I could go all the way, huh?"

Dean tried to act all tough and funny but Sam could see he was actually very nervous and had put a lot of effort to make a right atmosphere. Sam couldn't help but smile at how Dean had placed aromatic candles around the room, red roses on the nightstand, dimmed the bright lights and was wearing an outfit Sam had never seen before; black jeans and white shirt. Simple but sexy.

"Well did you get what we need?" Dean asked and if Sam didn't know better he would have said his voice was quivering a bit. Sam took a step closer to his brother and landed a soft kiss on Dean's lips. Instantly Dean's arms came around his waist.

"Yeah I got them, alright? Don't worry about them…"

Sam kept kissing Dean's mouth and jaw as he spoke. Dean felt a bit tense. Sam frowned and pulled away to look Dean into eyes.

"If you don't want this it's okay Dean. I don't want to push you."

Dean looked at him in the eyes for a long time. Sam could see love, warmness and passion in there. "I trust you Sam and I want this, okay?" He pulled Sam closer again and kissed him. "Just, take it easy…"

"As easy as you need", Sam mumbled.

They had kissed a lot. Dean seemed to like kissing him and Sam couldn't exactly compline when Dean's lips were pressed onto his. They had been tender and awkward first time kisses with bumping noses and clanking teeth, quick welcoming kisses on the cheek, secret hidden kisses behind the buildings' corners, passionate deep kisses in the Impala down some back country road in the woods and sweet loving good night kisses before going to sleep.

These kisses said 'I love you and I trust you'. And Dean's nipping teeth were clearly saying 'stop thinking and let's get this show on the road, bitch'.

Sam started to suck Dean's soft skin of Dean's neck as he unbuttoned his shirt. Dean shivered as Sam traced his fingers along his hard torso all the way down and rested his hands on his butt squeezing it lightly. Dean hummed and took Sam's shirt off as well.

Sam lead Dean backwards to the king sized bed and Dean sat down and started opening Sam's jeans as he kissed his navel and swirled his tongue in Sam's belly button. Finally Sam's pants were off lying on the floor and Dean lowered his head to nuzzle Sam's groin.

Sam put his hand on top of Dean's head and pushed his hips forward. They had given blow jobs before so he knew how far he could go with Dean. The other man got the hint and took the half hard dick in his mouth. Sam threw his head back and just enjoyed the warmth and wet tunnel of Dean's mouth. His hand was still in Dean's hair, not pushing but just feeling the little bobbing movements.

Even though Dean hadn't given head to anyone before Sam he had learned quickly. Now he knew all the buttons to push to send Sam over the edge. The right pressure, enough suction and the damn tongue. Finally Sam couldn't take it anymore because he didn't want it to be over too fast and he pushed Dean back gently.

"You are getting better at this", he said a little out of breath. A smug grin spread on Dean's flushed face but Sam quickly wiped it away by kissing Dean deep and hard. He could taste himself on Dean's tongue and that got him even harder. He pushed Dean flat on his back and while he was climbing higher on the bed Sam made sure the condoms and lube were placed on the nightstand.

Sam saw Dean glanced at them too, nervously. He took Dean's hand in his and noticed he still wore the Brother Bracelet.

"I can't believe you still have this."

Dean hemmed and touched the wristband softly. "Yeah I just never could take it off. You still have yours?"

Sam raised his other hand in front of Dean so they could see the old leather bracelet.

"Dude you so believed what I told you about Brother Park."

"Well I had my suspicions but yeah, I believed you because I trusted you."

Dean sighed and rested his head on the pillows. "Okay, point taken." Then the sly grin was on his face again. "Come on, Casanova, take me."

Sam chuckled. They continued the slow lazy kissing until Dean got frustrated and grabbed Sam's dick a bit too hard. Sam yelped and glared at Dean. If this was how he wanted to play…

Sam let his mouth travel slowly down Dean's body. Couple bites on the soft spot where his neck and shoulder met, licking, special attention to the nipples and following the slight hairline on his belly. By the time Sam reached Dean's leaking cock the other man was panting and bucking his hips against Sam's face. But Sam had other plans.

Sam took his time with licking and nibbling Dean's groin. The man was practically a sobbing mess under him. He was clutching the sheets and curling his toes when Sam finally took the pity on him and took the tip of Dean's member in his mouth. He tried to buck deeper but Sam put his hands around the narrow hips.

"Oh come on, man!" Dean snapped. "You are such a – oh God!" Dean yelped as Sam deep throated his dick still holding him down to the mattress.

After few minutes Sam got his signal; every time Dean was close to cumming his dick sort of _twitched_. Sam could swear to God the dick _moved_ by itself and seconds later Dean would be arching his back and cumming to Sam's mouth. That was always when Sam let go of Dean and let him fuck his mouth as he wished because he knew he could take it. Dean grabbed his head and pushed it down so Sam's nose touched his lower belly. He worked his throat as Dean came Sam's name on his lips.

"Damn, that was – ", Dean panted. He was completely lax and that's what Sam needed when he wet his index finger in his mouth and started circling his puckered hole. Dean was still enjoying his afterglow when Sam pushed the tip of his finger inside. That was the moment Dean tensed and raised his head from the pillow.

"Jesus, give a guy a warning for Christ's sake!"

Sam settled his hand on Dean's stomach gently massaging. "Relax Dean, you have to relax. Take a deep breath and talk to me. Tell me what are you feeling."

"What I'm feeling? I'm feeling like there's a finger in my ass, that's what I'm feeling."

"Does it feel bad?"

"Well it doesn't feel good."

"Then take a breath and relax." Sam simply said and pushed the finder deeper. He knew Dean would let him know if he was truly hurting him.

He worked his finger in and out in a slow steady rhythm. He felt Dean's belly rising when he took deep breaths and tried to relax his muscles. He was actually spreading his legs a little give Sam more room. Sam took that as an encouragement and slowly added a second finger. Dean made sounds of discomfort and Sam tried to work as quickly as he could. It should be around here somewhere, if he could just –

"Oh sweet Jesus on a stick!" Dean shouted and went rigid. Yup, Sam had found it. "What the hell was _that_?"

"That – ", Sam said and flexed his finger inside of Dean again. Another shout of pleasure. " – is your prostate, Dean." Another flex and Dean was half hard even though he had cum just few minutes ago. Now when Dean was totally relaxed and opening up it was easier for Sam to push a third finger in. He was crying out and arched his back to fuck himself onto Sam's fingers.

"That's just my fingers, Dean. Imagine when it's my cock that's pushing that spot", Sam whispered in Dean's ear. Dean made a keening sound at that and panted.

"Just hurry up, I don't know how much more I can take."

Sam pulled his fingers away and reached for the lube and condoms. As he was working himself ready Dean stopped him by placing his hand on Sam's.

"Do we need the protection? I mean I know I'm clean and you have – ", Dean didn't finish his sentence.

" – gotten myself tested before we started sleeping together", Sam looked at Dean closely. "Are you sure about this?"

"Well, it's not like we are going to have sex with other people, is it?"

Sam put the condom down and kissed Dean long and deep. Their lips were sealed together and Dean's hands crept up to Sam's hair. Suddenly they were back at Bobby's in the upstairs' bedroom. Sam could almost smell the stillness of the place and Dean's sweating body close to him.

Sam knew that this, what they were doing, was some pretty fucked up shit even for them. It was an incest; something people considered dirty and _wrong_ but Sam had never felt more right about anything. He knew others could probably never understand them but they were adults and not responsible for anyone. They both knew what they were doing. He loved Dean and that was enough for him.

"You're thinking again", Dean mumbled along the kissing. "Get to the business because I'm losing my interest."

Sam raised his eyebrows and rubbed their hard dicks together. Dean groaned.

"Oh yeah, you sound like not interested…"

But Sam was getting pretty anxious too. His aching dick felt almost painfully hard. Dean's swollen member was flat against his stomach. Last few kisses and Sam settled himself between Dean's legs. He automatically spread them open to invite Sam closer. His body wasn't tense anymore but lax and calm. His hands weren't shaking as he smoothed Sam's other cheek gently. By the dim candle light Dean looked gorgeous, almost not real.

They had hunted monsters and all things supernatural for pretty much their whole lives but this was the most magical moment in Sam's life. They looked in each other's eyes the whole time as Sam pushed himself all the way in. Every time Dean's breath hitched or his face showed any kind of discomfort Sam stopped and waited. He was close to coming and would like to just thrust in but knew if he screwed this up Dean wouldn't probably give him another change.

Finally Sam was balls deep in and let them breath for a while. Dean was tight and hot around him and he had to bite his lower lip to maintain the control. After a little shifting and adjusting Dean lifted his hips to say _move, bitch_. And Sam couldn't deny anything from his brother.

Sam pulled himself almost entirely out and then pushed in again. Dean cried out and lifted his legs do that his heels were digging into Sam's ass. His other hand's fingers were curled around his own dick and with his other hand he had clutched to the headboard. With each thrust Sam increased the force and speed.

He knew he was just couple of pushes away from his Heaven and the way Dean panted underneath him he could tell he wasn't far away either. Dean had never been loud in bed, mostly just grunting and harsh breathing, but now…Dean was pretty much shouting every time Sam's dick brushed against his prostate and cursing things which made even Sam blush.

Since Dean was clearly begging Sam to nail him in earnest he decided not to let him down and balanced himself better. The headboard banged against the wall and Sam doubted they could face the next door neighbors and the motel staff tomorrow without embarrassment but he couldn't care less about that now. Dean was jerking himself off in frantic movements and Sam could see the dick _jumped _once before Dean was cumming the second time that night. Though Dean's sounds were covered by his when Dean clamped around him and soon Sam went stiff and came inside if Dean.

For the next minutes the room was filled panting sounds and smells of sweat, come and _sex_. Sam had collapsed down onto Dean's chest. They could feel each other's hammering hearts and the hot breaths as their breathing started to even out slowly. The sweat was cooling off and Sam shivered from cold.

"You're shaking", Dean said as he reached awkwardly from under Sam and pulled couple of blankets over them tugging them in a warm cave. Dean's legs were aching and Sam was heavy on top of him but he wanted to feel the other man close to him. Smell his sleepiness and afterglow.

"Dude, you better not fall asleep on me", Dean yawned and Sam shifted so he was curled on Dean's side. They were too tired to even clean up.

"I'm going to be pretty sore tomorrow", Dean pointed out.

Sam chuckled and pressed closer to his brother warm body. "Well you can't say it wasn't worth it."

Dean kissed the top of his head. "Never."

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you too."

Then the room was filled with soft breathing and shifting until: "You're stealing the entire blanket, Sasquatch! I'm freezing my sweet ass here! "

**The End. **


End file.
